As it dawns upon me …

As it dawns upon me that I am turning 21, I realise that I have led a very happy 21 years of existence. Thank God, for I have never been in want (apart from for better grades), neither have I been in despair (except for better grades).

As the day that I turn 21 draws nearer, I realise that people always see youth as an asset, I see youth as an asset, but I do not know how to use it. Well, I dont have enough money to. I’d start some crazy investment plan like you said you would ‘if only you started when you were young’. Easier said than done.

As I am approaching adulthood, I realise the consequences of my actions and will check my blindspots more often, rather than just my rearview mirror. May I care more about the people around me than merely about the legacy that I leave behind.

As I step into the world of R(A) movies, I realise I never want to be seen outside Princess cinema at Bedok Interchange (or anywhere else for that matter), buying a ticket to a porn film. I’d very much rather watch something like Bruno or Saw.

As I am finally entitled to the rights to myself, I realise that your parents don’t stop being your parents just because you are 21. In fact, as you approach the time you turn 21, they still have the memory of you being 12, ‘Aiyo, Girl ah… Grow up so fast… What do you want for your birthday? Mummy will buy for you.’ But they do not realise that what I really want to say is ‘I want a car’. Haha.

As I face the truth of myself growing older, I realise that soon I may be like one of those office girls, obsessing over wrinkles and branded bags. Or conversely as many of my friends believe, I shall be sitting at home waiting for my manicure to dry, and calling up my galpals for spa dates. I wonder which is worse.

What I do know,  is that the years will fly by, and soon I could be reading this post in my car on my mobile, with nice nails and a branded bag, maybe even while driving and forgetting to check my blind spots, with my mummy in the back seat saying ‘Aiyo, Girl ah…’, and me smiling.

So before that beautiful day happens, let me just constantly remind myself that I am only 21 and with years ahead of me to fill, if the world doesnt end in 2012 that is.  And may I never lose my way, may I never forget to check my blindspots and may I not be ‘another day older and deeper in debt’*

(* From the song, Sixteen Tons – I’m just slightly worried about my credit card bills in future)

Everybody’s Changing and I Don’t Feel The Same

HAIZ.

How much change can a person take?

I don’t feel I can enjoy the same way with you anymore. You may not have changed as much inside, but I certainly don’t feel your old you anymore. You may have adopted new habits but it was the old one that made hanging out so much fun. Now if we go out just the two of us, I dont even know where to suggest for venue. You make me feel like I should do the same things as you do but I know that way I’d only lose myself. But if I do not adopt ‘you’, might I lose you too?

Friends, please do not change… I hate change.

Week 4 and drowning

Its week 4 of school. And as all SMU students know, its only the beginning of more to come!

Glad that recently i’m back to dancing (not as a school CCA) realised that I do miss it after all. And maybe jazz isnt quite my thing. Contemporary and ballet seems to be. Although sometimes I cant quite tally the fact that there are guys in my class. Kind of a weird feeling.

This semester, thankfully, I have rather routine weeks because of the absence of meetings and presentations. I prefer that so much more. At least now I can be sure when I am free or not.

My dearest friends, Leslie and Divyesh will be holding their farewell party on Friday. I’d be so sad… they have been such an integral part of my JC life that life will be so different after they are gone in the UK. Well, at the very least, there will be no one organising class outings (unless Andrew volunteers) and no one to say ‘eh, you lost weight again!’ to….

I’m missing SHERILYN TAN HUI MIN. She has been missing for a long time. Please sent me an email or something if you are her!!!!!

No more a Sophomore

So now I’m a Year 3, with about 2 years before I graduate and truly become an adult. Sucks.

This semester is a pretty interesting one for me. My chioce of modules is rather odd too. I’m currently taking Foundations in Corporate Communications, European Union Politics, Special Topics: International Organisation, and Democracy. So, 4 modules, of which 3 of them are Political Science modules. I think that I might be overdoing this a little. Just imagine all the readings that I’d have.

Some interesting phenomenon that I observed this semester. I have ZERO local professors. I one from South Africa (though he’s white), one from Holland, one from Spain (teaching two of my classes). And the other REALLY odd and unusual thing is that I have ZERO group project/presentations this semsester! I think that this is really good cos now I know that my grades are my own doing and I wont have to waste too much time trying to plan meetings and wasting time at meetings – waiting for latecomers.

With the start of this semester, it also means that i’m about 2 months away from my 21st birthday! Not sure how i’m gonna celebrate at all but I know that I’m NOT going to have a chalet. Find it rather poinless since i’d be more busy trying to make sure everything is running smoothly than having fun with my guests.

Looking forward to the gathering with A53 on 29th Aug!

So far so good

Been about 2 weeks since I stopped my internship. Well, as you can guess and as what happens to many, I didnt manage to complete what I had set out to do during this 2 week break before school starts. But at least I got to spend good time with some friends and also family. My regrets are: not reading more and not cooking a dish as I promised myself I would.

But I did something that surprised myself (as encouraged by the sunscreen song) – I got a facebook account! Haha! A little late I know – missed out on so many A53 gatherings.

These few days have also made me realise that the taste of freedom and doing nothing is sweet sweet SWEET! At the same time though, I’m also eager for the start of school because I dont think anyone can do nothing for too long. I need to get my brain working again!

Getaway

I love how we sip beer and long island tea by the pool.

I love how the pool has music playing underwater.

I love how we sipped champagne and martini at the atrium.

I love how the lift rides are so thrilling.

I love how we can do retarded things together.

Counting down!

My internship is coming to an end in about 3 working days. Its a bittersweet feeling, thinking that my farewell party is tomorrow and that I will not be seeing the colleagues whom I have made such good friends with and even some of the instructors and grassroot leaders.

However, I am also looking forward to this well deserved break. I think that I should have some goals for my two weeks before school starts so that I will actually make good use of it. One of them would certainly be to BUM. I also intend to do more reading.

In this comng school semester, I am intending to take on some dance classes at Jitterbugs and MAYBE piano lessons?? Poor dad – paying for all these…

EYE ON

Went to ION Orchard on Tuesday night and Thursday night. Have not got bored of it yet so I guess that’s good news! Initially when Vivocity opened I hated it because of the sheer size and how I always get lost there. Now that there was Vivo, I guess it helped me get use to ION which was worse.

The shops there are really quite interesting and its a pity that many of the food stalls were not open so I couldnt really get a decent drink for a decent price. Another I realised was that I did not see Macs or KFC! Or maybe I just haven found it yet.

Today was my off day, and I think it was a well spent one. Got to spend some time with family and got to keep up with what’s going on in the world too.

On another note, I went ot Shokudo @ Heeren with Mich and Carol and yet again, I’m greatly disappointed. Haiz. Shokudo just lets me down everytime I go there. The only decent Japanese Marche-like place is Manpuku at Tampines 1. Its food is decent, although I felt really cheated by the cakes which look so nice on the outside but is all cream on the inside. Empty vessel.

22 July 2009

My internship will end soon. To me, its neither too soon nor too long. Certainly, I’d miss each and every one of my colleagues including some of the Grassroots Leader who, at surprising moments stood up for me, even though I always thought that they prob didnt care much about interns.

I have so many people to thank for a wonderful internship but I’ll leave that for when I really complete the internship. Just in case anything more exciting (or horrible) happens this coming week. This internship so far, has been everything that I prayed for. Thank God for answering my prayers – especially the part on good bosses. What a contrast to my previous job!

I’m also looking forward very much to the time that I will be able to spend with my friends after the internship. I may not be able to meet up with all of them but I feel that I have been missing out so much because of my odd working hours. Do hope that I can meet up with my gal pals again, JC friends, SMUSAIC friends, SOCIAL PSYCH AWESOME group, and also the library gang. I miss everyone so much!

Looking forward to the start of school actually, cos that means another sem of seeing my friends more often, and having more flexible hours – with only myself to answer to and blame should my grades go wrong. Speakng of grades, mine haven been very ideal. I have been trying hard to get better grades but last sem I got ALL B+. Which means that my GPA is kinda bad…. HAIZ. 2 years more to go – hopefully some miracle happens.

Toying with the idea of going overseas. Currently my options are prob 1) Exchange in Europe 2) Summer School at St. Gallen 3) Exchange in China 4) BSM/Internship overseas. Well, they are not in order of preference but in cost, more or less.

OH !!! I pledged to donate my organs … One of the things that you do when you turn 21. And I decided that I will donate any organ EXCEPT MY EYES. I dunno why, not superstition or religious but I guess I’m vain even in death. Can you imagine hollow and sunken eyes? I cant. Sorry… Also, I opted for ‘treatment and transplant’ ONLY instead of research and education or both. I was just following my gut feel. Well, then they sent me a card and encouraged me to carry it with me at all times. It has my requests printed on the back of the card. What I found REALLY HILARIOUS was when I saw the fine print: In the event of death, please contact XXX. HAHA! What IRONY!

Sorry…

Well, this post comes as an apology to my dear friend who sent me a ‘DEAD BLOG ALERT’. Haha.

All right, reason why I have not been updating is because I spend a lot of my time in the office now. And I do not want to update my blog in the office because after all, it is the office computer and information is easily retrievable. So I do not wish for my blog address to be so easily found out by colleagues or bosses as that mean a death in privacy – as little as it is already. HAHA.

Everytime I meet someone, they will most certainly ask: So how’s work. Well I dont blame them cos put in the situation I’d probably ask that question too but I get a bit sick of repeating my answers or trying to come up with something new to say so I dont bore myself. And FYI, work has been good. Except for the timing of course. My work timing is unpredictable to say the least. There are two shifts, 8.30am to 6pm and 12.30pm to 10pm. So that kinda kills off my social life becos the first shift is rare since most people prefer mornings and as the intern I have to do at least 3 night shifts. Moreover, I also have to cover pple’s absence by filling in for them if they’re out for a meeting/pon-ing.

I have been on a house visit before, and have met with so many different kinds of people that I am amazed by my tolerance level to some of them. I am growing and learning definitely, trying to be more trusting, more friendly, and more tolerating. There are some people that can make your day hell and some who surprise you along the way. Thank God for good colleagues who are understanding and REALISTIC. Who actually say in front of their bosses that they are tired of working and want to go home.

CAROLINE is back!!! Been looking forward to her homecoming from Xiamen!! WELCOME BACK !!